Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
