Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize