i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
