im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
