I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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