I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
