please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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