I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
