how can u be prego again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
