with your own penis?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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