sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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