friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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