At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
