You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
