this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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