I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have fence marks all over my body
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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