i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
