Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize
