Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
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found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize