she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
