do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
