My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
