Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
