I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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