I CAN MOONWALK!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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