chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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