Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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