im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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