She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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