Whod you bang
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize
