No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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