Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
