One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
