Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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