Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
