she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize