You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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