Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just found a bag of teeth...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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