im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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