that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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