i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
