He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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