So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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