in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
