there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
