I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
