I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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