But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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