a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
