i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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