we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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