i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize