That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
