oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
