I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
this will be a night to untag.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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