To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
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I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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