I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
