there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
