dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
