Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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