WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize