How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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