Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
