Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize