Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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