what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
