so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
