Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
