god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
