I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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