well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
